TESTSTSARDSAR

Why Women Roll Better by Sara Gluck

When it comes to the battle of the sexes, everyone has an opinion.

Are women funnier?

Are all men clueless? 

Why argue about silly things like intelligence and wit when we can argue about more important things, like which gender can roll better blunts? Because let’s face it, that’s true supremacy. 

Women are better at rolling than men. Look, I don’t make the rules, but I have empirical evidence that women are the fairer gender when it comes to rolling a green burrito. 

Physically, women tend to have smaller hands than men. This means that their delicate fingers can work a paper into a joint with precision and finesse. I’ll take a small-handed woman over a sausaged-fingered guy to roll a better joint any day.

We all know that rolling requires coordination. A little hand-eye coordination goes a long way when it comes to rolling jays. Most people may think of hitting a baseball with a bat when it comes to hand-eye coordination. Do you know how much hand-eye coordination it takes to do makeup? It takes skill to apply makeup—attention to detail, a steady hand, and small movements—all of which are key to rolling the perfect joint.

Furthermore, a big secret you’re not supposed to know is that women learn how to roll in arts and crafts at schools and camps across the country. While the boys are busy playing basketball and building model cars the girls are learning the ins and outs of joint rolling. Big joints, small joints, blunts, cross joints, are all rolling activations offered across this country to girls. 

Lastly, and most importantly, it’s in their DNA. Recent studies suggest that women possess a unique genetic marker, dubbed the ‘Cannabis Craft Gene,’ which grants them an unparalleled ability to roll the perfect joint. This DNA sequence, found only in women, enhances dexterity and precision, making their joints smoother and more evenly packed.

You want a source? Just trust me, bro. 

So, next time you’re in a debate about gender superiority, forget about the usual topics. Instead, ask yourself: who would I trust to roll the perfect blunt? The answer, clearly, is women.

This article appears in edition 6.2 of Cannabis & Tech Today magazine, a special edition featuring the women in the cannabis industry.

Photo by Kindel Media

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